WTF THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Seriously, dude, what the heck is going on here? It's like a shitstorm of crazy, and I'm just trying to figure out it all. Is this even real life? This whole thing is making my head spin. Can someone please give me the lowdown before I snap? How The Crap?! Dude, this is utterly bullshit. I'm beyond stoked right now. It's like a monkey just pul